Among Comrades
by Amsomnia Studios
Summary: A story told through the eyes of a war veteran!
1. Chapter 1

Preface

We were all soldiers of fortune, my platoon, they all died, and I was the only one who survived but if you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide; it means that I have gone down with my platoon, honor, it doesn't really exist but the pain, the pain that comes with gaining that honor is real.

When I got out of the war people soon forgot us, war veterans doesn't really have anything to do in this world, when we have done our bit we all are left to rot, nobody wants us, nobody needs us, the only thing you can count on is the desert, is the jungles, is the places where gunshots were heard, here we were needed, so why I am writing this? Does it even have a purpose; is anyone going to read it anyways?

Medals of Honor, they stand for so many things. However, in the end means nothing, what I wouldn't give to be back on the battlefield, to see James, Josh, Rick, Dice and Grohan still alive, I guess that's why I want to join them, I know they are preparing a bed for me, a room with a view, a lot of things to eat, we would all sit there and talk about the war, about everything, so why am I waiting? I am waiting because even though you might not care, this is my story, my platoon was soon forgotten, and nobody cared about them. However, I want you to have this someday, to see what you did, how you destroyed us; I want to show you, how to not forget the people you leave behind.

In 1962 we were assigned to work for the military; we were sent into the jungles of the Middle East, they told us we were to secure some kind of mechanism. However, this was only a lie, we were actually sent right into a battlefield, and many of the platoons sent down died within a week, it was only sheer luck that we survived. Instead of killing us they took us as prisoners, down in cold empty basements people sat and watched other people, each in their own cell, while a guard kept on walking by us.

My whole platoon, was placed in separates rooms, me in my own room with some weird looking guy, Dice in a room behind me, josh in a room right in front of the cell I was placed in, Grohan in a room down stairs, rick was not in any of the rooms god knows why, I never saw him again, James was in a room upstairs, escape would almost be impossible had it not been for that night, had it not been for that attack.

The US army didn't expect us to survive, so what they did was to destroy everything with a nuclear atom bomb, it came down on July the second, everything above us grew to nothing, the land was wasteland, a desert, where no one lived, the guards beneath with us, was killed by men sent down from the US Army, this was my ticket, or so they would have had us to believe.

When they found us in the cells they did nothing, didn't even try to recognize us, instead they left, we were all left down many meters down under earth, this is where the story, my story, my platoon, the whole nation begins the tale of the war between us and them, in what later would be called the naked wasteland, or beneath the naked sun.

What I wouldn't give to see my platoon again, what I wouldn't give to be back in the naked sun, there isn't anything here. However, in the naked sun we all battled for something.

Thus begins: Among Comrades

Men cry not for themselves, but for their comrades.

_**Final Fantasy VII – Crisis Core **_

Chapter 01 – 1962 The Third Of July

_After yesterday, it felt like the whole world was moving around us. However, it wasn't really the Atom Bomb that shocked me, you know in the battlefield something like that can happen, you never know when they decide to change the rules, so it wasn't really that, it was the betrayal of the US Army. _

_Took one glance at us, and then they left again, betrayed by your own country and like that, you probably know how that feels. However, you won't believe what happened up till the end of the war, all the excruciating ways they betrayed us, at one time, it must have been winter or something like that, you couldn't really be sure, but at one time I actually felt like the enemy must've been the US Army and the people we were fighting weren't enemies at all, till this day I am not sure if they were or weren't. _

_Memories flowing around in my mind, memories of families being killed, memories of other platoons who killed children, and some of the platoons were in fact from the US Army, what had we become, murders. I know that soldiers sent into a war is about killing the enemy, but I ask you when did children, when did family become enemies, even though they aren't from our country, when did they become the casualties of war. There really isn't any honor in a war, there shouldn't be any medals, there shouldn't be any happy hour, only sadness for those that you killed, A wise man ones said that a soldier who kills and isn't afraid to kill isn't a real soldier, while a soldier who isn't afraid of dying but is afraid of killing is a true soldier, a true patriot, what were we?_

_I remember that day, after the Atom Bomb very well, someone in one of the cells had an idea, something he had been working on for years, he had been down in these cold basements for a very long time, he was waiting for something to happen, waiting for them to either walk away or die, his prayers were accepted but only for a while. After escaping from the basements we found ourselves in nothing, in a waste, there weren't anything that even resembled threes anywhere, everything had been blown to pieces, and everything had been destroyed._

_As I mentioned before, Rick wasn't anywhere in the basements, we had searched before moving up on higher grounds, the only thing we found were his dog tags, I would imagine he was tortured and he tried to keep everything a secret, protecting our platoon, protecting the United States Of America, heh what a joke, what a joke they made him to be. We couldn't do anything than leave, leave a friend, a comrade, a warrior behind, you couldn't imagine how that felt like, on the battlefield your family were your comrades, so it was something like that. _

_I remember a song, a song that I once heard on the radio, it must've been in the mid 70es, maybe later or maybe earlier can't really recall, but the song, I remember every last bit of that song, the song was called "Your honor" it was a woman singing the song, it was about the soldiers returning from war, the song was a massive blow out for the USA they decided to boycott it, the truth about the war never came out, my friends, my comrades lost their lives on those battlefields, when I returned nobody cared about them._

_The song was tribute to soldiers, who fought for their country all over the world, and it was boycotted, doesn't that just dignify the reality of truth, the reality of war, we are causalities, the expendables, nobody cares as long as we save them._

_We were about ten men, when we first surfaced the surface, it was me, it was Dice, James, Grohan, Josh some guy called Hector, another one named Foster, this weird person that didn't talk that much so we didn't know his name, then there were a child, or at least almost a child he was only 18 years old, his name was will, he was extremely excited, probably the only one that ever was and last but not least there were Laney. Yeah I know a girl, but she was, oh my god, her fate, I will never forget that day in 1963 one hour after the plane attack._

_So I told you before, we were ten people, there wasn't anything alive for miles, I remember this because counted my steps, in desert, well on the battlefield you got nothing else then you comrades in your mind, so what you do is try to stay focused, and believe that is one stuff thing to do, it is extremely, I decided to count steps, the others talked, I didn't have much to say, I was thinking about Rick, thinking about the horrible things they could've done to him._

_I will always have a anger against my country, an anger so horrific as the battlefields that we saw, as the children who had lost their mothers and fathers, as the people who were killed by our own country, it was gruesome, when you read this you will probably do what the rest did, erase your memory, forget these pages, forget ever reading about the war, forgetting what I write in here, but even though you want to forget, I promise you nothing will ever let you forget._

_We had been walking, for many hours, it didn't seem like they had just thrown one Atom Bomb, it looked like they hadn't been using their heads, at night we finally saw something different, it wasn't green though, it was a house, there could be soldiers inside, they could be waiting for us, on the other hand it could be people, we decided to try and push our fate into the burner, we decided to knock on the door, a little child and a weak mother came outside._

_We asked them if we could get something to eat, get some guidance, we told them we wouldn't kill them, we promised we wouldn't do that, they trusted us, they shouldn't have been that trustworthy, we had slept in the house, early in the morning we heard gunshots, I looked over at the others and couldn't find Will, I hurried myself into some clothes and ran outside, and there I found Will with the body of the woman and her child, I cannot express how I felt at that moment, I simple cannot._

_We might be soldiers, our job might be to kill, especially in a war, but I wouldn't ever kill a child, not even a woman, especially not a woman who was pregnant, but Will didn't have such issues, he didn't care, so we tied him up to the house, and we did probably the worst thing in the world, we left him there, Will was terrible, he was evil, everything that the United States Of America wanted at that time was a killing machine, they had it, he was named Will._

_I might have nightmare of children being slaughtered alive, women being tortured in the most gruesome way, but I will never forget how Will screamed at the top of his voice asking for our help, asking not to leave him behind, nightmares of that will always haunt me, but I guess in order to punish the evil minded we need to carry on with what they leave upon our souls, Will left us with disgrace, but also some sort of charm, he had a heart, he just hid it so well that we couldn't risk letting him loose, even though he was evil, tonight when I die I will take a moment and pray for him, he was following orders, as many others were, it was the war´s fault not his._


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 02 – 1962 The Fourth Of July_

_That day, when we left Will by the house, we saw nothing, but bland places, nothing indicating anything. I remember my first day in the Army and that's what I was thinking about, I was new, as was many others, everyone that joins the army in the beginning are hopeful, no one knows what is going to happen, so we all chip in, we all do our work, until we are shipped off to places unknown, I remember my first day in the army, as if it was yesterday, as if it was today._

_Flashback – _

_Sergeant" You are all here, because you have chosen it, but here are no future, and no escape, are that clear men!_

_We would all just say YES SIR, you wouldn't want to tip off the Sergeant, and he was always so crazy, having us do some excruciating work if we didn't do what he commanded._

_Whole squad" YES SIR!_

_Sergeant" Listen men, no one of you are good at this shit, you all have to do well, if you don't then you got to do it again, and again, and again IS THAT CLEAR!_

_Whole squad" YES SIR!_

_Even though he was crazy and sometimes extremely violent, he wasn't really that tough, he had his better days, he wouldn't talk those days, it would always be a relief. I remember my first assignment he was the sergeant on it, he saved me back there. He died in action around 1956 I think, he was shot down by fifteen military men, like my men, in my platoon he didn't get any recognition he died and that's was that._

_Present time –_

_You know walking in a waste, walking where nothing is alive, where nothing seems even real is a really hard thing to do, I know it is kind of a cliché to say something like that. However, that was what I always felt walking with my comrades, the only thing you can be sure of, is that your comrades are real, and they showed that, they really showed it, I don't consider myself a hero, and in the end I weren't, I am not trying to get you people, to honor me, I am trying to get you people, to honor those who died, trying to protect the, people that once lived, I should've died with them, I should've. Instead I saw them die, I saw them being shot every one of them, while they let me escape, while they let me live. _

_When I returned home after the war my family, my friends, the people I used to know slowly vanished, until I was all alone. They told me when I left, that they would never forget me yet they did, I know that I was in the war for almost 3 years but I never thought they would just leave me, just forget who I was, what I wouldn't have given to die in the naked sun with my comrades, what I wouldn't give for that relief. _

_I was once told that the grief in time will let you go, will let you be free, somehow I believe that something like that can only be earned, some of us never earns it, while others reach it in the earliest of stages, while my grief never let me go, I sometimes think that the soldiers, that Will, and a lot of my comrades let their grief, go away long before they died. They soared into heavens with a free spirit, something I never earned. _

_This might be just one of my clichés but I will give it a go, I believe that life is like a piano melody, that every stroke is the way we move, the way we talk, the way we learn to walk on the ground. A piano melody is like a feather flying in the sky, each of these feathers is compromised of you and I, when we touch the ground our grief have let us go, but some never gets the chance to touch._

_I believe that the first who touched the ground, like a feather flying away was Rick, not because he was the one who died first, but because I believe he actually sacrificed his own soul for his comrades, he decided that his blood would only be spilled for the sacrifice of friends. I don't believe that whatever you do, like saving people and other things grants you a place where your grief have disappeared, however, I believe that those who sacrifice their own heart, who sacrifice their own soul only can be granted something like that._

_You don't need to be some great person; you don't need to have done miraculous things in your life, you don't need to be a hero or a strong person, you don't even need to know that much to be the one who has true hero traits, all you need is being the miracle, like Rick._

_Night and day, hour by hour time passed, it really was the naked sun, it has been almost nine days since we last saw someone, that someone was Will so you can imagine how empty it was, how much the US army had destroyed everything for miles and end. I know that two or three atom bombs wouldn't create something like this, but the truth about the war is way more covered then you might think. _

_On the first of august 1962 we found the first sign of change, it seems the US Army had stopped somewhere along the way, it also seemed like the other had stopped shooting, figuring there were no need to do so, we acted like the enemy, somehow we were able to make it to a city, it wasn't a big city, they didn't know we were from the USA but if they did we would've been killed, that night we stayed at a little inn._

_Early at morning someone came into my room, they came with guns, telling me and the others to move outside, I thought this was where they wanted to execute us, yet no they didn't instead they gave us weapons, told us to get ready for an attack against the US Army, they didn't care who we were, we were here with them, meaning we had to fight as well, naturally in the end the US Army came and killed all of the villages, I ran up to one of the soldiers, I recognized the person._

_It was my brother, he told me to get down on the ground, said that we had betrayed the US Army, yet it was them who betrayed us, my brother, my own blood, my own lineage was ready to kill me, one bullet and everything would've ended, but someone in the village still alive shot him, my brother fell on the ground and the soldiers killed the villager man, then they left didn't care for us, they didn't even take my brother with them, they decided he didn't need a burial, that this place was where he was supposed to die._

_My brother was still half alive, he was weak screaming at the top of his lungs, he asked me to kill with my knife, even though he wanted to kill me, still the sadness in his eyes was there, in the army you do what is necessary, even if it means killing what means the most, he told me to kill him that I was the only one who should, he would've suffered even more so I killed him, I hesitated a lot but knew what had to be done, later that night we gave him a burial right next to the villager man who had just saved me. On the ground with a clear mark we wrote._

"_**Here lies the betrayed son of the US Army, gunned down by his own men, killed by his own brother, here lays someone who let his grief go."**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 03 – The Fifth Of August 1962_

_We stayed at the village for a couple of days, not because we liked it, but I don't know if you know it but there is a saying, it's an old myth, this myth says that when someone dies you have to stay by their side for some days, now after a lot of time that someone who died will be free of his spirit, be free of his soul, be free of his guilt, be soaring in the skies with the endless birds flying and flying up high. _

_Now I don't know if that is really true or anything but it is respect, and that respect need to be honored, especially for someone who also looked death in his eyes and said give me your anger, let me be free, free my soul._

_At early morning we left the village, leaving my brother to rest, I tell you this story so you will understand how unappreciated some can be, I am not talking about myself, but my brother, well when I got back they didn't ask for him, nobody did, when I told them he had died, they responded with nothing, a week later they left saying nothing, they didn't have any sadness in their eyes, nobody cared for my brother, he just died._

_Now you don't know that much about my family, but my grandfather died in attack, my grandfathers father died as well, my father was different, I haven't ever seen a man be so ignorant of his father's dying, he didn't care, like he didn't for my brother, for his own son, my mother was like my father, frozen, kept away from emotion somehow, they just didn't care._

_My sister god rest her soul, was killed in a car crash, my family, meaning my father and mother couldn't care, me and my brother cried for weeks, they just told us to stop, now there were only one less to feed how lucky for them. I come from a family with no feelings at all, that's why I went into the Army, I know it sounds foolish, and that nothing good can come from it, but me and my brother both went into the Army to try and regain our fathers and mothers trust in us, how foolish of us, they couldn't care less. _

_Now I don't know why the others went Into the Army although Grohan always talked about saving his daughter and wife, how unlucky he was to have died, he always talked of a city not that big in USA where he wanted to live with both of them. _

_When I returned from the war I traveled by train to see his family, I told his wife that he had died protecting her and their daughter and that he was a hero, she cried, fell down on her knees, the first person I saw when I returned who showed true emotions, Grohan would've been so glad to see them again but never did._

_He was offered an option by the Army, they told him that he could earn enough to make a home for himself with both his daughter and wife if he helped the United States Of America, they lied to him, he was offered a place to stay alright, but not a home for himself with his wife or daughter, he was offered a small grave in a city that no one will ever visit._

_In this city on that small grave many flowers bloom, but only blooms for him, we left his gun next to him, a sign that would protect in his afterlife, I don't know if that is how it works but when your comrade dies on you everything works._

_Rick didn't say much, he was a happy guy, but other than that he kept most of his memories, of his stories, of his life hidden, so I don't know why he went in to the war, but I hope that when he went out of the war that he went to a better place, even though he was happy his eyes showed regret, he was mysterious._

_James wasn't sure why he entered the war, right from the start he was unsure of everything, you could see he wanted out of it again, he was a testament of purity I would say, I have never seen James kill anyone, not even on the battlefield, he would sacrifice himself for us at many times but never use his gun, he was purity._

_I think I got a little off track, I will tell of the others later, I want to return to where I left of, it was in the city, where we left my brother god rest his soul. We had walked for hours on a stone road, meaning there were many small stones everywhere, why am I telling you this detail you are thinking? Well Dice didn't have any shoes, he went on his feet, and I have never seen someone more dedicated to surviving and helping out then Dice._

_He took some of the backs, some of the clothes, held some flasks even though he went on what would seem like excruciating painful stones, he didn't care, that's some willpower, I know what you might be thinking, we are soldiers, we are trained to survive anything, yet even though this might be true, you could clearly see the pain that Dice bore on while walking there, although he would never admit it, he was strong, strong in his mind and soul, god rest his soul._

_We had walked for hours, we had seen nothing, just bland places, at this point all I could think of was seeing people again, although I already knew the people we were going to see wasn't really going to help us much, we were all going to die down here, at least that's what I remember feeling at that point._

_At night we would all rest in some grass by the road, although much of grass was filled with stones, and it would've been too hard to remove all of them, we would always lie on grass upon excruciating stones and sometimes bleed, when I got out of the war they told me that we could've just looked for another place. However, there weren't any others places, at night the only thing a soldier could do was sleep, remember back then we didn't have what we have today._

_Before we all slept in, Grohan would always come up with these weird quotes, at least that's what I felt they were back then, although today I can see what he meant by all of them, as I am writing this book everything about what he said make sense, that's why I want to end this chapter with the last quote he ever came with._

"_**Beneath the covered clothes, beneath the dusty guns and bullets, is a heart of solid gold that can be recalled, although when the clothes is ripped, the soldiers, the people who bore that heart of gold will vanish from existence" Grohan Hill - 1963 The Third Of July **_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 04 – The Tenth Of September

_Do you know how unreal it feels, when you walk and walk and never see anything, and that the walk can take even days, weeks and months and you never see anything, that's how we felt while trying to find something in this mess, a whole nation, an entire civilization that just seemed like it went away, we were all alone._

_That is until the tenth of September, it must've been luck, we didn't meet a person that wanted to shoot us, actually we met someone with a lot of guns but someone who hadn't the slightest urge to kill us but then again he wasn't from that region and he wasn't American, he was a Dane, yeah I know someone from Denmark, he had sighted on living in a small house out by the ocean, there weren't people in sight and we were told that there were miles to the next city or town, we were granted with peace and were even allowed vacancy for the night._

_You know in all of my years, in my lifetime, and even after I got out of the war I have never met someone who granted us with such kindness, that's why it makes me so sad to write about this guy, that's why this is my saddest entry._

_He told us about how his wife, his kids and how his whole family had been killed, they were all burned in the first world war, he was there with them and protected them, instead of killing him they decided to capture him and use him to their advantage, he somehow escaped and moved to this little place in nowhere and this is where we left him, he looked so happy as we left that morning, how unfortunate to later read about the old man, who were slaughtered by late Nazis for the escape he made, and how he was laughed at while they tortured him, while showing pictures of his family, from which they had burned and killed right in front of him earlier in his life._

_Though that bad is sad, I think the saddest thing in the world is, that, that guy didn't get a burial, he was left in this house, they house was later demolished and there they found him, didn't do anything, they left him, although I think that they have since removed his body, but I remember being able to read about how the man stayed there after being discovered in almost ten years, people didn't care. _

_It seems that over time people forgot normal moral, forgot decent human traits, people didn't care much for their own kind, even though he was someone not American, he was still a decent person, someone who didn't deserve such fate._

_I remember us talking about him, and about what we had learned and seen over the course of our road, at that time I remembered Will, at that time I couldn't stop remembering my own brother, at that time I couldn't dare not to, but there were someone I remembered even better than anyone of them. _

_I don't know how many of you guys reading my book who remembers someone closer to you, someone you just forgot, someone that over time went away from your mind, well I had someone like that, when I was only thirteen years old my best friend was killed in a car crash, I still remember that thing, and as we walked I began talking about her, it seemed as the best time to tell, up till that point I hadn't told anyone about it, not even my ungrateful parents, or my friendly brother._

_It just seemed as those guys were people I could trust even more, I was sure that they wouldn't let me down, they sure didn't let me down, and whenever I talk about her I remember my comrades, and whenever I talk about my comrades I remember her, my mind is so screwed up though that I only remember small fragments of who she was, the youngest picture in my head goes back to when I was only four years old and I was sitting with her and laughing though her face seems blurry to me._

_So why am I telling you this? Well I thought to myself I needed to get it out, also the way I felt about her when I talked about her to them and how I couldn't remember much about her, well that's how I feel right now about my comrades, although I remember small pieces, although the travel seems so vivid to me, their faces seems just as blurry as hers._

_Before the war I went to her grave each and single day, after the war I did the same, actually right now as I am writing I am sitting here by her grave, I came with a flower and I will be walking away with a piece of my heart, and she will be flying away with the rest of my heart._

_I would like to visit the graves of my comrades, but they didn't get any, I would love to place something at their grave but there none, that's so sad, I know I am talking in circles sometimes when I write this but I am doing this because as much as you people need to understand my story, I need to understand it as well._

_Well I think I have rambled on enough, you want to hear more don't you, well as we left the house we were guided by a road that the kind man had shown us, this path would lead us to a little city, he told us that the people of this city would greet us with a normal pace, that they wouldn't held us captive, and that they would understand our situation, but as we arrived we were met with a hostility, not by the people of the city but by our own people._

_The whole city had been bombed and the rest of the survivors were being slaughtered alive, in all my time, in all of my life I have never seen such brutality, we were told by our own people, meaning a couple of soldiers that they would let us be, that we weren't allowed to get onboard the helicopter they had, quickly they moved away, we were left in a village that once must've been a nice little settlement that now was a deserted battlefield._

_I don't get any of this, I remember when I first was assigned to battle duty that they told us that the U.S Army only wanted to create peace, but no this wasn't peace, this wasn't anything like that, all they wanted was to gain power, to hold anything under their noses, don't get me wrong the U.S Army is a little different today but back then it was a different story, what you don't see is what people don't know, everyone would be told that we were here to create peace, yet this wasn't peace, if this is was they call peace, if this is what my country calls peace than I am not sure what is what anymore._

_Oh how is the way to fall in battle, oh how is the way to crumble under their feet, is this the world we are creating for a kids, for the people coming after us, if this is truly the way to shape the future then please release me of my pain, release me now, I can't do anything about it, and if I can't then please take me._

"_**The art of war is something darker than that of the murderous cries of a woman, yet those cries can also be heard in a war." Michael Petersen 2010**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 05 – The First Of December

_I am sorry I have jumped this far in the story, the only reason is that nothing happened until just about this date, we left the village for a couple of months ago, there wasn't anything left, so we just moved and moved, late in our travels in began snowing, I can't tell you if it really was December when we reached that lighthouse and the guy we met was to crazy to actually know, but I can tell you that the snow must've been a dead giveaway._

_So yeah we reached a lighthouse in the middle of December I think, we saw a man up high in the lighthouse and decided to walk up to him, in hope that he could guide us, or at least just help us a little bit, I know that you can't trust anyone when in a war, but actually you have to try or you will be left to rot and by this time we were almost left to rot, eating whatever we could find, sometimes a rodent was eaten by us, sometimes only green leaves, whatever you could find._

_So we walked up to him, he was sitting on a rather old stool, he didn't say anything, and when we tried to ask him anything he just stared at us, his eyes were half the size of a normal human being, he had a rather big musk of hair and his nose dripped with snot, he just looked and said nothing for maybe five to ten minutes, although after a while he began to talk._

_He didn't say much though and it didn't really make sense at all, he just kept on yelling about how the water is green and at night black, which of course makes sense but still didn't really make sense, he was pretty weird._

_While we were about to leave him, he took the gun out of Grohan, he looked at the weapon and said nothing, Grohan moved slowly over to him and wanted to take the gun from him but instead was shot in the stomach by the old man, the old man didn't move although he threw the gun away from him, he just looked at what he had done._

_We hurried outside of the lighthouse with Grohan and packed him up in a lot of bandages and luck would have it he survived the night over, and morning he was much more fresh and it didn't hurt anymore, the bullet and gone right through but not hit the most important parts, although still to this day I am not really sure of how he could've survived but he did, and in the cold snow._

_We decided to move on, it would've been stupid to revisit the old man, at first he might just shoot once more and second this man was not even sure what he did, I know that punishment should come to those who do stuff like this but this was a war and at that time he wasn't really our enemy even though he was crazy, so we left him instead and moved on._

_I heard that the lighthouse was later overtook by someone somewhere although I am not sure who exactly took it and what happened to the old man, but some have later told me that the old man was relieved, which actually meant that he was killed at sight. However, I am not sure if that is just a rumor or what it is._

_Days went by, I think that after what had happened, where we had walked I kept thinking when we would die as well, there is such a thing as luck but our luck was a lot stronger than the norms, so I couldn't stop thinking about when we would be halted in our search, I wasn't even sure what we were searching for anymore, yet I felt like we weren't actually in the battle it was like that we just sought out to escape, I am sure the guys felt that way too._

_I think I mentioned this before but at those times it would be best to hold onto a memory you had and keep that in mind, it would be everything that would make you still be sane that and your comrades of course, at those later times I was thinking about the first time on duty, we were not in our own country and at evenings we would be able to walk the streets, I remember this old bar, well not really a bar but somewhat._

_We would be here each night; there were this girl who sang like a nightingale, she would be there every night. However, my most fund memory is when she came down to my table, I used to watch her for hours while my friends/comrades drank and talked, she would always notice that I watched her intensely._

_At that night she asked me if I would follow her to her room, we didn't do any stuff you know, yet we talked all night, when I left the place I swore to return to the place and I did but when I returned she wasn't there, I heard that she later became a singer, yet died a couple of years later and I never found her again, she became big with one hit, yet I don't seem to recall what it was called._

_She was some of the things that kept my mind at ease, at that time she hadn't died just yet, at that time she was still alive, when I returned from the war she, yeah you know I told you._

_Walking at night was a hell later at February, it slowly became hellish to even try and sleep at nights, it wasn't really the coldness or anything like that, I never froze I was always able to keep myself rather warm at all weather, I don't know about the others, yet Laney would always freeze so we gave her a lot of blankets and other stuff that we had on the travels it wasn't much but it worked for her._

_Well it wasn't the cold that did it for me or the others, it was the fear of people, it was a war, I know that no one was in miles and no one would probably ever be, yet you could never be sure, everything could lurk from the bushes, we could've been attacked everywhere, you needed to keep your cool and stay pretty quiet and especially at night._

_I remember that one night we were actually captured, they took us to their homes and attached us to chains and began to torture us, I remember this because it wasn't so long ago from the lighthouse accident and then of course because at that house, at that place we lost someone in our platoon, these people were wise not dumb, yet at one point the guy who never talked somehow loosened his hands and somehow got free, this was at a time when the people in the houses and what not wasn't inside._

_We were all freed by him, and we had to escape, yet it wouldn't be easy, we actually found our equipment in a house just behind the one we were in, it wasn't guarded and that would've been what made us easy going, what we shouldn't have done, they found us, we shot some of them and they returned bullets, a lot of us made it through yet Foster was shot right in the stomach, we hurried and without a sound actually moved him away and into another place._

_Here we tried to get the bullet out of his stomach. However, the bullet wasn't nowhere to find, it hadn't gone through either, at last we had no choice but to leave him, it seems as though we lost more people in the beginning then we ever would in the end, and it also seems that everything they said is something I remember exact, I remember Grohan's last quote and I remember fosters, that's why I want to recite it here in this book for all of you to see._

"_**Our destiny is to fall, we fall in battle, that's the thing we were made to do, yet I don't want to fall in battle, I don't want to fall before I have earned my place to die." **_

_**Foster Gernand – 1963 the Seventeen´s of February**_


End file.
